37 weeks and my belly button is still flat as ever. Some of the ladies at the library where I work said their belly buttons never popped. I'll be sad if mine doesn't.
Last night I dreamed I was pregnant with a cat. In the dream I had gone for one of my regular doctor appointments, and the doctor had told me that I wasn't having a boy or a girl but a feline. His words. In the dream I could feel the outline of the cat in my belly. The tail, the paws, the face. I kept thinking, I already have a cat, and I don't want another. I was so glad to wake up this morning and feel my real baby moving around and ready for breakfast.
Thomas and I bought some summer blooming annuals for the speck of a flower bed in front of our porch. I had wanted perennials, but Thomas reminded me we'd probably be living in New York by next summer and wouldn't be around to enjoy them. So we bought some gladioli and some freesias:
Ever since we moved into our new place, I've been imagining my summer of maternity leave filled with lots of swinging on the porch with the baby, and I wanted to make my sitting area as pleasant as possible. So, yesterday I got out in the cold and the wind in the flower bed and planted the bulbs next to the porch swing. I figured I'd better plant them now while I can still get around fairly easily. I don't know how I'll feel in a week or so. Thomas kept coming out to check on me and offering me gloves and gardening pads for my knees and extra sweaters.
Things are almost ready for our little son. His crib has been assembled; his clothes have been organized and folded into drawrers; the curtains for his windows have been hung; the rug for his room has been rolled out and vacuumed; his diapers and powders, creams and burp cloths are all in their proper places on the changing table. I'm still washing all of his clothes and putting them away. The carseats are ready to be installed in both cars. The bottles and bowls and spoons have all been through the dishwasher, even though these won't really be used for another few months. My hospital bag is packed. Every phone number of every person we know has been programmed into the cell phone. Thomas and I are ready. Except that I keep forgetting this baby's really going to come out. I keep forgetting that if I went into labor today, chances are I'd give birth to a fully formed infant human being. I can't believe this.
My due date is less than three weeks from today. At my last doctor's visit the doctor could feel the baby's head and said he was already engaged. The baby's ready to go, but I'm not. I'm going to miss being pregnant. I'm going to miss feeling my baby hiccup and kick and stretch. I'm going to miss waking up at night to feel his back pressed up against my abdomen. On the other hand, I'm so excited to meet this person, to see his face, hear his sounds. And I can't wait to see my husband become a father. In the meantime, I'm going to relish these last couple of weeks of pregnancy. I'm going to sleep in on my days off. I'm going to let Thomas pick up all the things that I drop throughout the day. I'm going to let him tie my shoes. Each morning I'm going use up all the hot water in the shower. I'm going to enjoy the food I eat. And I'm going to enjoy these last days alone with my husband before we become parents.
It's becoming more difficult to sleep and sometimes even to walk. There are times in the day when I have to hold the bottom of my belly to keep from feeling that the baby is going to fall out. Still I enjoy how healthy and strong I feel, and I enjoy the fact that I can still stand up from a squatting position, and I can still get in and out of the floor pretty easily. Who knows how long I'll feel this way. At this point, things seem to change day to day. I'll try to keep everyone updated each week until the big day.